To Welcome Darkness
by ephemeral.DELUSiON
Summary: Oneshot. Postgame. When the one closest to Neku Sakuraba decides to finally let go, what happens to the leftover pieces of Neku's shattered heart? JoshNeku. Drabbleish.


**Title**: _To Welcome Darkness_**  
Rating**: M [NC-17?] [Not for yaoi or anything, though. To be safe.]**  
Fandom(s):** The World Ends With You/Subarashiki Kono Sekai**  
Pairing(s)**: Neku S. x Yoshiya K./Joshua**  
Genre(s):** Tragedy/Angst**  
Warnings:** Death. Blood. And little boy love? [A slight mention of hugging/kissing.] [And if read right, a tinyiddybiddy bit spoilerish.]**  
Summary**: Oneshot. Postgame. When the one closest to Neku Sakuraba decides to finally let go, what happens to the leftover pieces of Neku's shattered heart? [JoshNeku.][Drabbleish.]**  
Word Count: **806 words.

**Author's Notes:** Number one. I haven't written anything quote-on-quote effectively "depressing" properly in my entire life, so deal. [Yay for emotastical fun-ness.]  
Number two, this is technically a song fic- but does not allow them, however, so- I have never written a songfic before, because I personally don't like them that much. But when I listened to the song, and found it perfect for this pairing. [ish?]  
Number three. I haven't written much anything for fun at ALL since the _sixth_ grade. So I'm quite the n00blet. But I need [non-flame] criticism of any sort, so I can see how I did. I'll love you forever~ [Because flames are for keeping my cocoa warm and won't fix my writing worth a damn.]

**Disclaimer:** As this is OBVIOUSLY a site for fictitious FAN work, I do not own the fandom or its characters. And for more obvious reasons, if you have anything against two boys sharing [onesided?] feelings, or the pairing, and will flame it, leave now. OH- and, it could[/should] be considered OOCish. [/fails.]

_NOTE:_ I know this is disgustingly emo. xD; It was originally supposed to be fluffy, but, a week of no sleep does this to your late-night-non-existent writing skills. xD I know Neku is not the little emo who many portray him to me, but it just CAME~ to me. I also do realize there is no real back story for Neku's inexplicable actions, but I'm sure you can make something up, right? xD I hope you can bear with me, nonetheless. xD [/hopes to not be shot.]

**tl;dr: Insert a single line of Dir en Grey's [English] version of Dozing Green at each ellipsis for the story to flow correctly. AND MAKE SENSE. ;; Also, give it a listening-to before and/or while reading for full effect.**

/ commencement. /

It is you. I hear you come in… I hear you appear. You have always come to my side every night, without fail, since our last encounter on that week. Even if only to watch me sleep.

…

My gaze shifts toward you. Even in the total darkness, I can see your eyes change direction.

After a few moments time, a striking blue meets a hazy violet.

…

Tonight, I feel that something is wrong. Uneasiness wafts in the air; your stone cold composition seems to be falling apart…

…

You smile. It is unlike your usual sadistic, arrogant smirk. It radiates a gentleness… it is softer. Kinder. But slightly more... lost?

…

The glimmer now streaking across your pale cheeks combines with the purity of your upturned lips.

No, the smile is not that of a lost child…

It is one of someone who is afraid.

…

I don't understand why you still haven't approached me. Have I done something to upset you? I don't want to push you away any longer. Are you afraid of rejection?

…

"Joshua…" I whisper. Instinctively, my arm rises from beside me, reaching out to grab hold of you. My mind may not admit it, but my body does- I plead.

…

For a second, the smile flickers. In that fleeting moment, it was replaced with a look of pain. In that amount of time alone, a hand began to move, until restrained by the invisible cords of pride.

…

That single second now disappears, returning to the original expression that had previously hung in its place.

…

Maybe being here is causing you pain. Why? It seems as if you want to stay, but you can't. Is this not like every other night? Where your watchful gaze rests upon the body sleeping in front of you…?

…

"Neku… I- I'm sorry. Goodbye…" Your head turns as the whisper escapes your lips.

"W-what…? Joshua…?" I squeak.

This cannot be happening.

When I finally decide to let you in,

You finally decide to let me go.

…

A pain starts to spread through my chest; my eyes begin to move frantically, finally comprehending the situation. It is over. For whatever reason, you will not be coming back. Not to hear my steady breathing… nor to sooth my nightmares with your embrace… nor to kiss my forehead when I begin to stir awake.

…

I want to escape this place into a world of me and you alone, when I can hold your dissipating body forever as it returns into oblivion.

…

Days have turned into months… years, even. You never did return, and not a tiny fraction of a moment has passed where your last words hadn't echoed through my head, destroying any chance of me moving on, of me forgetting you.

I needed you so much more than you could have ever realized.

Without you, I lost everything. My friends all parted ways, and I returned to being alone.

For that reason, I could not continue to live this way anymore.

…

So this was it. I have decided, now it's all or nothing. I pick up the steel blade, slowing beginning to press against the flesh that is my neck. My breath hitches. Maybe this way, just maybe, I could join you in the UG? Even if not, becoming nothingness would be much easier than this…

…

'_Neku…?'_

My conscience must have decided to take the form of your voice, probably going to persuade me to stop.

My mind replies. 'Please, don't bother. It's time for me to go. I need to end this torture, this torture of actually wanting someone, of loving YOU, of all people. Then, then of you not loving me back…' So I confessed. For the first time, my mind decided to join my body in the feelings that had blossomed so long ago.

'I just wanted you to love me…' I begin to press harder.

'_B-but Neku, I... no, Neku, d-don't…!'_ Too late, conscience.

I slash.

…

Overwhelming pain begins to surge throughout my body. I writhe, while blood pours out the wound, everywhere. Death begins to cloud my eyes, and I know I must be approaching my final moments of sanity as I see your ethereal being form above me. I struggle with trying not to scream. The arms I think I feel circling my body feel so warm, compared to my body, which is losing blood at an alarming rate, decreasing my own temperature…

'_N-Neku…'_ A sob lies within your voice. Why is my conscience still trying to trick me? You obviously aren't here right now… you can't be here right now, trying to save me.

But even so, I feel obliged to tell you one last thing.

"I… I-I forgive you…"

I take my final breath, and close my eyes to welcome the eternal darkness.

**/ termination. /**

**[/end A/N::]** Uhm. Yeah. The story kinda took its own route after 4:30 in the morning, so even I didn't want what happened to happen. o-o'' I'm sorry for that. D: [So much for suppressing your "emo urges", Neku. xD -is shot- ] Crit/comments is suggested and welcome, please. :D S2


End file.
